By AMY CAVANAUGH, Washington Blade
September 30, 2009

Baltimore’s Ayanbadejo supports same-sex marriage

For Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, growing up in liberal Santa Cruz, Calif., made it easy for him to speak out years later in support of same-sex marriage.

“It’s a liberal town, and when you grow up there you might have a gay or lesbian teacher or a classmate who is openly gay,” he said. “It’s not a big deal there, and I grew up with it >Ayanbadejo opined in the Huffington Post that “we will look back in 10, 20, 30 years and be amazed that gays and lesbians did not have the same rights as everyone else.”

“If Britney Spears can party it up in Vegas with one of her boys and go get married on a whim and annul her marriage the next day, why can’t a loving same-sex couple tie the knot?” he wrote.

“How could our society grant more rights to a heterosexual one-night-stand wedding in Vegas than a gay couple that has been together for three, five, 10 years of true love? The divorce rate in America is currently 50 percent. I am willing to bet that same-sex marriages have a higher success rate than heterosexual marriages.”

Ayanbadejo told the Blade that when the piece was published, he forwarded it to several friends and associates, but didn’t get much reaction.

“My head coach got it, some public relations people got it and some teammates got it, but no one really said anything,” he said. “The funny thing about the NFL is that we don’t pay attention to the media too much. We’re in the media all the time to talk about ourselves, but we never pay much attention to it.”

Ayanbadejo said that it wasn’t until months after he wrote the April opinion piece that people around me all the time, so I never thought it was a big deal.”

So when Ayanbadejo saw same-sex marriage become “a hot topic,” he decided to make his opinion known, penning a column for the Huffington Post earlier this year.

Ayanbadejo, who is in his second season with the Ravens, previously played for the Chicago Bears and Miami Dolphins. He’s been selected for the NFL’s Pro Bowl three times.

“Equality Maryland sent a letter to the Ravens media department, and they passed the letter on to me and asked if I wanted to attend their [open house] event,” Ayanbadejo said regarding his appearance at last month’s reception.

“It was in inner-city Baltimore, so I said, ‘For sure. I’m interested in making a difference.’”

Equality Maryland leaders welcomed Ayanbadejo’s public stance on the issue.

“Communities of color are often unfairly painted with the broad brush of intolerance,” said Lea Gilmore, director of Equality Maryland’s Members of Color Collective. “We know that is not true. Brendon is a glowing example of an individual in a leadership position who speaks up and speaks out for fairness and justice. I’m so glad he is on my home team.”

David Toth, Equality Maryland’s interim executive director, also noted that when someone “like Brendon Ayanbadejo speaks out for marriage equality, scores of people who may not give thought to LGBT issues will hear crucial equality messages from someone they themselves aspire to be.”

“While not all of us are pro-footballers, one can never underestimate the power of just one voice to change hearts and minds,” Toth said, “whether it’s your own family or millions of adoring fans.”

Ayanbadejo’s support is all the more notable because professional athletes rarely comment on LGBT issues.

“The fact that an active professional athlete spoke out about a political issue is unique in itself,” said Cyd Zeigler Jr., co-founder of Out Sports, which covers gay sports issues. “When athletes speak out on a political issue, they run the risk of alienating some of their fans and they don’t want to do that.”

Zeigler said that he couldn’t think of another active professional athlete who had commented on same-sex marriage, but noted that some former athletes, including Magic Johnson and Steve Young, have done so “to an extent.”

Still, Zeigler said he didn’t think Ayanbadejo’s endorsement would mean much for the movement.

“Where this battle is being waged in courts, it should have no effect on that at all,” he said. “And in states where it is being voted on, I don’t think voters in those states necessarily care what he has to say about same-sex marriage.”

NFL attitudes, environment ‘changing for the better’

Ayanbadejo said athletes don’t often speak out on political issues since “a lot of them don’t have a platform they could use.”

“Since I have an account on the Huffington Post, people will read it,” he said. “But most athletes don’t have a platform to share political views, and when we’re in the media, we’re being asked about working with kids or about football, and that kind of thing, unless you’ve done something wrong.”

Professional athletes rarely come out as LGBT while they’re actively playing, but some, such as former NBA player John Amaechi, have come out after they’ve retired. Ayanbadejo said that he wouldn’t call the NFL homophobic and that things seem to be changing on the field.

“I’m sure every player has a gay family member or knows someone who is gay, but there are a lot of words thrown around out there that aren’t politically correct,” he said. “But it’s a lot less than when I first started playing and everything is changing for the better. Guys are starting to be more politically correct.”

Ayanbadejo noted that he’s seen an increasing number of black or Hispanic head coaches, which he also thinks is helping “to create more open-mindedness.”

“The majority of players are African American, and while there once was a discrepancy with few African-American coaches, I don’t see those discrepancies anymore,” he said. “With that comes awareness and sensitivity to other issues.”

Ayanbadejo said that he doesn’t know of any closeted gay players in the NFL, and that he expects no gay players would come out until after they retire.

“The league is so hard to stay in, and since you don’t know what people’s reaction would be with coming out, players think it’s better to just stay quiet and do your job,” he said.

Ayanbadejo said he doesn’t know what else he will do to advocate for same-sex marriage, but that “when I see something this blatantly obvious, I’m going to give my two cents and air an opinion.”

“If I see something unfair, of course I’m going to speak out about it.”