Heterosexual Privilege¹

The following are but a few examples of the privilege which heterosexual people have. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer-identified folk have a range of different experiences, but cannot count on most of these conditions in their lives.

On a daily basis as a heterosexual person:

• If I pick up a magazine, watch movies or TV shows, go to the theatre or play music, I can be certain my sexual orientation will be represented.
• I have positive role models of my sexual orientation.
• I grew up thinking my romantic feelings towards others were perfectly normal and healthy.
• In everyday conversation, the language my friends and I use generally assumes my sexual orientation. For example, “sex” I do not have to fear that if my family or friends find out about my sexual orientation there will be economic, emotional, physical and psychological consequences.
• When I talk about my heterosexuality (such as in a joke or talking about my relationships), I will not be accused of pushing my sexual orientation.
• I am not accused of being abused, warped or psychologically confused because of my sexual orientation, or of wanting to recruit others (particularly children) into my lifestyle.
• I am never asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.
• I am not asked why I chose my sexual orientation, or why I made my choice to be public about it. I don’t have to defend it, and nobody tries to convince me to change it.
• I do not need to worry that people will harass me or assault me because of my sexual orientation.
• I can go for months without being called heterosexual, nobody calls me heterosexual with maliciousness, and people can use terms that describe my sexual orientation as a positive (i.e. "straight as an arrow", "standing up straight" or "straightened out”) instead of a negative (i.e. "ewww, that's gay" or being "queer”).
• I'm not grouped because of my sexual orientation.
• People do not assume I am experienced in sex or am sexually promiscuous (or that I even have sex!) merely because of my sexual orientation.
• I can choose to not think politically about my sexual orientation.
• I can easily find a religious community that will not exclude me for being heterosexual.
• I can count on finding a therapist or doctor willing to talk about my sexuality.
• I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my sexual orientation will not work against me.
• I can walk hand-in-hand in public with my partner, or kiss him/her goodbye at the airport and not have people stare at us, talk about us, insult or assault us.
• I can talk freely to others about my relationship with my partner, our vacation or our plans for the future.
• I can marry my partner without public controversy, and enjoy all the social, legal and financial benefits that go along with being married.
• My partner and I can find appropriate anniversary cards for each other in any store.
• My partner and I can attend family functions together, and my partner is included in family photographs.
• My partner and I can easily find appropriate housing, and we can expect that our neighbours will be friendly or at least neutral toward us.
• My partner and I can comfortably purchase a “couples membership” at a gym or fitness centre.
• I am easily able to find sex education literature for couples with my sexual orientation.
• My partner and I can adopt children, or have children by in vitro fertilization or artificial insemination, without being criticized and without our motives being questioned.
• My partner and I can parent our children without threat of intervention by child protection agencies based on our sexual orientation.
• I do not have to worry about telling my co-workers about my sexuality. It is assumed I am a heterosexual.
• I can be pretty sure that my co-workers will be comfortable with my sexual orientation.
• I can go home from work without feeling excluded, fearful, attacked, isolated, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, stereotyped or feared because of my sexual orientation.
• I can be sure that reference materials used in my work setting reflect the existence of people with my sexual orientation.
• I am guaranteed to find people of my sexual orientation represented in my workplace.
• I can be open about my sexual orientation without worrying about my job.
• I am not identified by my sexuality in my workplace (e.g., “that heterosexual nurse”).
• If my partner was to die, I would have paid bereavement leave from my job. My name would automatically be included in the obituary as his/her survivor.

¹ Heterosexual Privilege is based on “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” by Peggy McIntosh, in 1989. "White Privilege," dealt with the unacknowledged privileges of being white. Among Caucasians, there were many special and unearned assets al">referring to only heterosexual sex or “family” meaning heterosexual relationships with kids.