How Homophobia and Heterosexism Hurt LBGTQ People

For those not yet ple try to “fix you up” with members of the opposite sex. \

  • Feel forced to adopt a gender presentation that you are not comfortable with.
  • Unsolicited advice such as “you’ll never catch a man/woman if you act/dress like that.”
  • Assumptions that you and everyone else are heterosexual.
  • Being around people who are free to express their sexuality, while having to hide your own.
  • Having a hard time finding/meeting other LBGTQ people.
  • Thinking you are the only one.
  • Thinking something is wrong with you.
  • Feeling that you don’t fit in or belong.
  • Not being able to get close to another person because of this “secret”.
  • Feeling panic about being found out, and feeling like a coward or a dishonest person.

    • For those coming out, the possibility and fear of:

    • Rejection from friends, family and/or co-workers.
    • Rejection of your friends or your lovers.
    • Rejection of other things that are important to you – your work, interests, etc.
    • People refusing to accept your gender identity or sout:

      • May feel the necessity to lie and pretend that you are something that you are not.
      • Can only be affectionate with a loved one when you feel it is “safe”.
      • Have to pretend the person that you’re with is not your lover.
      • Have peoexual orientation.
      • Having to deal with fear and anger toward you from others, including those who have been your best supporters on everything else.
      • Losing your job, your living space or financial supports.
      • Getting lower grades or poorer performance evaluations than you think you deserve and wondering if your LBGTQ identity is why.
      • Subtle rejection or distance from people and having to wonder the cause.

      For those who are already out:

      • Dealing with heterosexism, transphobia and homophobia.
      • Dealing with put-downs, slurs, jokes, and being talked about or stared at by others.
      • Not getting jobs nor into groups and organizations.
      • Being made into a special case – a “good” or “different” LBGTQ person.
      • Any affection you show towards a same-sex person may be seen as a sexual “come on”.
      • Encountering verbal or physical abuse/violence against you by total strangers just because of whom you are.
      • Encountering emotional abuse in the form of graffiti, jokes and defaced posters.