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Mothers of New Babies and Toddlers

Coping

How are you feeling?

The first six weeks after birth

A new baby throws your life off balance. You may feel like you are in survival mode, dealing with only the most basic things in life… breastfeed baby…change diaper… eat… breastfeed baby… change diaper… nap… breastfeed baby… shower… give baby a bath… change diaper… breastfeed baby…

Doing this day after day is emotionally hard work. You may be feeling sad or “blue,” tired, overwhelmed, and maybe even exhausted from your new baby's demands on your time, emotions, and energy.

You may have also noticed that you need and want to eat more food, and that you feel thirsty. Both of these are normal parts of breastfeeding.

At the physical level you may be dealing with:

  • The soreness that comes from stitches (from an episiotomy or a C-section)

  • Some discomfort when you move around or are sitting

  • Breasts that are four times bigger than they used to be

  • Nipples that become tender and cracked

  • A sagging stomach

  • Moderate to heavy bleeding from your vagina

  • Small drips of warm pee every time you cough, sneeze, laugh, or move quickly, and

  • Hemorrhoids!

 

Added to all of this, EVERYONE wants to give you advice on:

  • How to look after your new baby

  • How to breastfeed

  • What to do

  • What NOT to do

  • Aahhhh…all you want is to be left alone in peace and quiet.

How do you know if you have the "baby blues"?

The “baby blues” is a mild form of postpartum depression that affects many new mothers. It usually starts 1 to 3 days after birth and lasts for about 10 days or a few weeks.

With baby blues, many mothers have mood swings. You may be happy one minute and crying the next. You may feel anxious, confused, or have trouble eating or sleeping. The baby blues are very common. Up to 8 out of 10 new mothers have this experience. The good news is that it will go away on its own.

Is postpartum depression different from “feeling blue”?

Yes, it is. Only about 13% of new mothers have postpartum depression. It is less common and more serious than the “baby blues,” and lasts longer.

Mothers are at risk of depression during the weeks and months after having a baby. Postpartum depression can start even three or four months after childbirth. If you have a family history of depression or have suffered from depression before, you are more at risk. Postpartum depression needs to be treated.

Some of the symptoms of postpartum depression include: 

  • feeling inadequate (that you are not able to care for your baby)

  • feeling extreme anxiety or panic

  • having trouble making decisions

  • feeling sad

  • feeling hopeless, and

  • feeling out of control.

No one knows exactly what causes postpartum depression. If you think you may have this kind of depression, it is important to get help. New mothers with depression may have trouble caring for their baby. They may not want to spend time with their baby. The good news is that depression can be treated. It’s important to talk to your doctor if you think you are depressed. To learn more, click here.

After the first six weeks, you will notice physical changes:

  • Your breast size will increase due to higher feeding demands from your breastfeeding baby.

  • You may experience hot flashes, night sweats, and you may feel a bit unstable due the fact that your ovaries are not working now (thanks to breastfeeding). Even so, you need to be aware that breastfeeding is NOT an effective form of birth control.

  • You should now be feeling that you have recovered from childbirth. It takes 6 weeks or more for muscles in your abdomen to return to pre-pregnancy state if you had a vaginal birth. It takes longer if you had a caesarean birth.

  • Tissues and ligaments that surround and support the uterus, bladder, vagina, and rectum will return to how they were before pregnancy within 90 days of childbirth. This could take longer if you had an episiotomy.

  • Ligaments that surround and support your pelvis, back, hip, and knee joints may tighten up. Although this will not affect your joints, you still need to be careful not to hurt yourself during physical activities.

  • You will find that you gradually lose weight.